Ugh. Click here to see Natalya Rudakova… This movie is shit. I get that it’s just an action flick, that I shouldn’t expect very much, but does it have to be so bad, you cringe every time there’s any dialogue? There’s nothing new, or interesting in Olivier Megaton’s Transporter 3. Nothing.
While there’s not much of a plot, this is what I did manage to gather between the sloppy, lackluster fight scenes and car chases: There are a bunch of greedy Americans, they’re trying to manipulate the evil Russians, oops, Ukranians. There’s the suave British guy that looks good without his shirt on, who’s assisted in his attempts to stop all this crime by a clever French guy. And of course there’s a dark, troubled Ukranian girl to tag along (this seems to be the movie accessory of the year).
The script is laughable. Seriously, it’d be difficult not to giggle as poorly written lines are delivered even worse. Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen should be ashamed of writing something so vapid. Jason Statham is fine in a role that requires no more depth than an extra. Natalya Rudakova is ridiculously horrible, and should have her SAG card torn up for this performance. And the most blame lies with Megaton who seems to have put as much effort into this film as I put into brushing my teeth in the morning. The action sequences aren’t even exciting. Some of the fight scenes were well choreographed, but are short, and unbelievable. It’s just not something you should waste money on. Even those with the lowest expectations will be disappointed. Avoid this.