Five movies that convince me sexual promiscuity is a dangerous, dangerous game

Sex seems to cause an awful lot of problems in the world of film. These movies have provided me with clear, dangerous consequences of such activities.

5 – Match Point

Infidelity can make very beautiful people do some very violent things. Betrayal, affairs, murders. Murders to cover up murders. In Woody Allen’s Dostoevskian world, things turn out okay for our anti-hero. But if Russian literature is anything to go on, the oncoming mental anguish will conquer all. Just say no to the overtly sexual American gal. Even if she is Scarlett Johansson.

4 -Notes on a Scandal

One innocent little affair with a minor and his school teacher forces Cate Blanchett’s character into a sordid world of media scrutiny, and in to the arms of an extremely creepy lesbian-type woman who may or may not have masterminded the whole thing, forcing you into a terrifying relapse into the 80s, punk rock culture of the UK. Not a pretty site. Plus, Bill Nighy kicked her out. Who wouldn’t want to live with Bill Nighy?

3 – Eyes Wide Shut

Sure there was no actual infidelity in this film. But Nicole Kidman’s character lavished the opportunity to drive Cruise wild with her fantasies about leaving her husband with a military man she glanced at once long ago. And Cruise himself flirted with prostitutes and secret sex clubs. No matter how terrifying these moments were, the scariest part was returning home to a passive aggressive wife, and a marriage totally broken, with no where to go but down.

2 -The King

One night of passion twenty years ago with a Latina hooker will catch up with you. In The King, consequences involve the inbreeding of your son and his half-sister, and then eventually killing your other son, wife, daughter, unborn grandchild, burning down your house, and basically destroying your audience at your non-denominational church. For one quick lay!

1 – The Descent

Now, clearly, this is worst case scenario. But who’s not to say that if you sleep with your best friend’s husband, and then a year later, end up stranded in a cave with devolved humanoid monsters, that that best friend won’t break your knee by leaving a climbing ax in it to leave you at the mercy of those monsters. I’m just saying. Before you have your self those twenty minutes of pleasure, think about what could result from it.

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12 Responses to “Five movies that convince me sexual promiscuity is a dangerous, dangerous game”
  1. Excellent choices, though I’m especially partial to #4 and #5 (Cate B. looks lovely in that pick).

    The first thing that came to mind when I heard this title was Dangerous Liaisons and then Fatal Attraction, which goes to show that sex+Glenn Close=danger and death
    .-= Encore Entertainment´s last blog ..Three Women…Three Years…Three Paragraphs =-.

  2. Anna says:

    is this a good film, ‘the king’?
    it’s the one with bernal, right?

  3. Aiden R. says:

    Hahaha, The Descent is definitely as bad as it gets, but Match Point was ROUGH. THen again, haven’t seen 2-4, so that’s all I’ve got for this one. Great list though
    Aiden R.´s last blog post ..And the best Dennis Hopper movie is…

  4. Rachel says:

    Great list, for 3/5. Haven’t seen Match Point and haven’t heard of The King, but it sounds pretty interesting, and by “interesting” I mean incredibly twisted.
    Rachel´s last blog post ..Tuesday’s Trailer Talk: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Part I

  5. Blake says:

    @ Encore – I can’t get enough of Blanchett. Especially in Notes on a Scandal. I haven’t see Dangerous Liaisons or Fatal Attractions, but have been meaning to for quite a while. I’ll get on that.

    @ Anna – I really like The King. I own it. On Rottentomatoes, it falls about half positive and half negative. But I would definitely recommend checking it out. Plus anything with Gael Garcia Bernal is worth checking out in my book (except Rudo y cursi…)

    @ Aiden – The others are definitely worth checking out. I love Eyes Wide Shut and can never understand why people say its Kubrick’s worst, but that’s just me. But yeah, The Descent is definitely the biggest cautionary tale for me.

    @ Rachel – Watch Match Point!! It’s what really introduced me to Woody Allen, definitely worth a viewing. Especially if you like Russian literature (I’m a little biased since I was a Russian major, but still…). And I do recommend The King, with reservations. It’s a pretty intense story, but still great.

  6. Anna says:

    totally agree with you on ‘eyes wide shut’, by the way. i love it.

  7. Scott says:

    Great call on The Descent! I’d also add Basic Instinct. Sex with Glenn Close should always be regarded as dangerous.

    Scott´s last blog post ..Frankly, My Dear Podcast

  8. Blake says:

    @ Anna – I have no idea why people call EWS Kubrick’s worst film. I love it.

    @ Scott – I haven’t seen Basic Instinct, but there are a number of her movies that serve as cautionary tales against sex with her…

  9. Reel Whore says:

    “Even if she is Scarlett Johansson.” – I’d take that risk. 🙂

    Never saw The King and never made it through Eyes Wide Shut.

    It’d rock to live w/ Bill Nighy, btw.
    Reel Whore´s last blog post ..MMM- Who Knows What Shes Gonna Say

  10. Steve says:

    No Fatal Attraction, eh? Way to make me feel like an old man.

    BTW, you are this month’s King of the Internet for placing a Neil Marshall film in the top spot. Well done!
    Steve´s last blog post ..Toy Story 3

  11. nuno pereira says:

    quero muito também participar nessa órgia.

  12. Blake says:

    @ nuno – Não temos todos!

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