Five movies that make me never want to move to the suburbs
Since Netflix created an entire genre called Dark Suburban Dramas and keeps recommending me films from it, I’ve realized that I do, in fact, like dark suburban dramas. So I’ve created this top five list of movies that make me want to stay as far away from suburbia as humanly possible.
5 – American Beauty
Yes, there’s something about Sam Mendes that makes me want to run screaming the other way suburbia, and American Beauty is his best example. Annette Bening’s passive aggression, neo-nazi, abusive neighbors, aberrant sexual fantasies. American Beauty is no place to raise a family.
4 – The Ice Storm
I’m pretty confident that Ang Lee does tragedy better than pretty much anyone working right now. Except maybe Kelly Reichardt. The Ice Storm’s cast is nearly perfect. Fraught with wife-swapping parties, awkward sexual awakening, a crazy ice storm, and Sigourney Weaver being a real bitch. I choose to just say no.
3 – Revolutionary Road
Yes, Sam Mendes and former wife Kate Winslet make two appearances on this short list. If Mendes is hinting at anything autobiographical in these movies, it’s no wonder why the two got divroced. Revolutionary Road is more mild than the rest on this list, but it still deals with cheating spouses, insatiability, and [spoiler alert] dangerous abortions that make the glimemer of perfect suburban life make you wonder what’s happening behind closed doors.
2 – Little Children
Tom Perrotta’s book was slightly better than this movie, but it still packs a punch. Infidelity, pedophilia, chronic dissatisfaction, emotionally distant partners. Even with Kate Winslet and Jennifer Connelly’s appeal, nothing could make me want to go there. No, thank you. I’ll pass on the white picket fence.
1 – Blue Velvet
No one has a more terrifying, distorted vision of America’s suburbs than David Lynch does, and Blue Velvet puts the fear of God in me. No small towns will be in my near or distant future. That shit’s just too messed up.