Piranha 3D

Alexandre Aja is one twisted guy. The Hills Have Eyes certainly ranks among the top ten most offensive films I’ve ever seen, and he directed it and wrote the script. I’ll admit, I haven’t given another one of his films a chance since then. But I’m glad I took a leap of faith when it comes to Pirahna 3D.  It’s an awful lot of fun watching douchebags on spring break get eaten over and over.  Not to mention a ‘Joe Francis like’ character having his penis bit off (played with shockingly accurate douchebaggery by Jerry O’Connell).  [Side note: Joe Francis’s attorneys sent a very strongly worded letter warning about libelous representation of Francis in the film.  What a bitch.]

The premise is simple.  A small town near Lake Victoria is taken over by 20,000 spring breakers.  Elizabeth Shue plays the town’s sheriff, Ving Rhames her trusty sidekick.  An earthquake connects Lake Victoria and a subterranean lake filled with prehistoric piranhas.  And you get to watch the carnage in 3D.  Aja knew exactly what film he was making.  It’s exploitive.  There’s tons of boobs.  Wet boobs.  Eli Roth emcees a wet t-shirt contest, and swimming lesbians have fish eating through their stomachs and swimming out their mouths.  There’s even a lovely nod to the Jaws series in the beginning where an aged Richard Dreyfuss is stuck on a boat, surrounded by man-eating fish.  No one was under any false pretenses, and the film walks a fine line between grossing the audience out,  making them jump, and making them laugh.  Aja also provides an extremely cathartic scene where Eli Roth’s head is crushed between two boats and explodes.  If only art imitated life.  The whole thing is written by Pete Goldfinger (Sorority Row), and Josh Stolberg (Sorority Row, The Kids in America).  And I think you should go and see this now.


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