Post-Oscar Come Down
There are six or seven large theaters within a 20 miles radius of me. More than 100 screens within a 25 minute drive. But click on the picture to the left to see what I’d find if I were to go to any of these theaters. Crap. It’s all crap. Sure, there are few theaters still playing Slumdog Millionaire, but I saw that in November, then again in January. There’s Gran Torino, but that movie was vastly overrated, not worth a second viewing. It was just a few short months ago that the theaters were filled with award-hopefuls and holiday season powerhouses, and now there’s nothing but Inkheart and Paul Blart: Mall Cop. What a waste. Whatever.
As for the Oscars, the AMPAS was quite well behaved this year. So well behaved, that they did exactly what I expected of them. Yes, I correctly predicted the nine major categories (although I forgot to include Best Foreign Film). Here are some barely comprehensible ramblings about last nights show:
It seemed Hugh Jackman thought he was still hosting the Tonys. Those campy dance numbers probably floored the Tony crowd, but it seemed like he left the audience last night a little disappointed (myself included). The best part of his opening number though is when he completely snubbed The Reader, admitting he never even saw it.
There is no reason the kids from High School Musical should ever be on the stage during the Oscars. Ever. That goes for Beyonce too if she’s just going to lip sync a horrible musical montage that includes lyrics to Grease songs. No, Mr. Jackman, the musical is not back.
Another person who should never be invited to the Oscars: Miley Cyrus. Unless she does something there that Joel McHale can use on The Soup.
I know I’m in the minority here, but Dustin Lance Black’s little tyriad against organized religion seemed a little postured (I get enough of his anti-Mormon sentiment from Big Love), although he certainly deserved the win. I had a sinking feeling the Academy was going to feel the need to recognize The Reader in some way and the Adapted Screenplay category might have been the place to do it.
Good for Kate Winslet finally winning, I enjoyed her speech the most. And if they hadn’t called out Heath Ledger’s name, I expected mass walkouts and riots in the streets of LA. But Queen Latifah’s performance during the ‘In Memorium’ section was pretty freaking tacky. As was the applause (apparently people are more sad that Paul Newman died, than they are sad that Bernie Mac died…)
As much as I enjoyed cutting to Meryl Streep and her hot daughter two or three times a minute, where was Freida Pinto? Give her a little camera time.
Did anyone else think it was funny that Penelope Cruz thanked Pedro Almodóvar before mentioning Woody Allen? I did. And someone tell me what she said in Spanish.
The best presenters were by far Natalie Portman, Ben Stiller, Tina Fey and Steve Martin. I wish Joaquin had been there. I would have put money on him rushing the stage and tackling Stiller, but he was probably freestyling in the parking lot.
Wasn’t Judd Apatow’s short hilarious? I’ve been looking for it on the internet for hours now, and no one seems to have it. Please, someone, tell me where I can watch it again.
Overall, I’m pleased with how it all went down. I feel that for the most part, the right people got the right awards. And what more can you ask for? Only one more year until next…year.