The Joneses have every thing, and make everyone jealous. And that’s actually what they’re hired to do. Some mysterious company, a company that is mostly faceless except for a few visits from the boss played by Lauren Hutton, hires pretty, charming people, and places them in suburbia as a sort of Ikea display taken to the next level.  The more cellphones, golfing equipment and rum that comes in Caprisun bags they can sell, the happier the company is.

First time director Derrick Borte keeps the first two thirds of the film tight, funny, and really fun to watch.  The cliched suburbia we see on screen is pretty close to the cliched suburbia most Americans live in.  The plot has an excellent pace, and the satire on our consumer-driven lifestyles is there, but not so in your face you feel guilty about the American Express in your wallet.  And then it all comes to a screeching halt.  Not so much a halt, but a total change of direction.  Remember how that Daniel Craig, Nicole Kidman movie The Invasion totally changed half way through, because the studio basically changed directors?  Or for the few of you who saw Art School Confidential, remember how the second half was almost a different movie?  This is the case here.  And it didn’t sit so well with me.

I’m not sure if it’s because the satire became a stern finger wagging and it put a end to all the glossy fun, or if it really just didn’t work so well in the film.  All the major characters come to some major crisis all at the same time, and suddenly the party is over.  Each of the Joneses are forced to deal with emotions that have long been pushed back behind the Ethan Allen catalogs and shiny new cars.  And when this happens, the quick, tight plot turns into a sentimental (read: less fun) and what seems to be a sincere meditation on the meaning of it all.  Geez, even writing that was boring.

Regardless of these issues, The Joneses was pretty damn fun to watch, and would fully recommend it to anyone in need of a little light viewing entertainment.  Well done Borte.

3 out of 4 stars

It’s hard to review a film you completely didn’t care about in the first place.  I never watched the TV series, and I think I caught about 85% of the first film on TBS.  If truth be told, I only watched this movie because I had a short window of time that needed to be filled and neither Mamma Mia! nor Space Chimps had times that fit my schedule.

Director Chis Carter brings us this second feature length installment in the X-Files (and hopefully the final chapter?).  Both Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny reprise their roles and Scully and Mulder.  After the four year hiatus, the sexual chemistry between the two is still as strong as ever (why can’t they just be together?), and their performances never miss a beat.  They share exactly one on-screen kiss in I Want To Believe and one awkwardly filmed scene that shows the two in bed (not too much is shown…Scully was just not in the mood)

The boring part of this film is that even though some slightly mysterious events lure the two out of retirement, their involvement in the case doesn’t advance the investigation at all.  The film gets really creepy when, get this, the pedophile psychic leading FBI teams to frozen, severed limbs hidden in the Virginian wilderness starts to cry BLOOD!  It’s sooo weird.  Can’t you hear the theme music now?

Two thirds of the way through the movie, all creepiness comes to a screeching halt, and Carter apparently started taking his cues from made-for-TV movies and it’s difficult to stay focused for the remaining 20 minutes or so.

Granted, I don’t know enough about X-Files to say whether or not the cult following will enjoy this or not, but I can pretty much guarantee the average viewer will be somewhere in between bored and underwhelmed when viewing this movie.

0.5 out of 4 stars

Rottentomatoes: 35% – Cream of the Crop: 27%