While the trailer made this seem like your average torture-porn movie, the PG-13 rating might have suggested that director Pierre Morel (Transporter) exercised a little restraint and would focus more on the plot.  This is, in fact, the case.  The problem is, the plot is boring.

Neeson plays Brian Mills, a retired ex-, something (he never really explains what exactly)for the government.  He calls himself a ‘preventer.’  Gave his life to the job flitting around the globe, and let it destroy his marriage to sultry Famke Janssen and his relationship to his daughter Kim (played by Maggie Grace from Lost).  Brians knowledge of the evil-doings in Europe make him hestitant to give Kim permission to spend the summer in Paris with her friend.  As luck would have it, Kim and her buddy are kidnapped and sold into sex slavery within hours of arriving!  Brian is forced to use all the dirty tricks he learned in the business to make a mess out of Paris, killing everyone that stands in the way of his daughter.

The movie provides some cool action sequences, something that Morel proved in Transporter, but like that film, there’s no character development, or interesting plot twists, just lots of violence and torture scenes (as violent as the rating would allow).  Neeson was actually pretty convincing as this loser father that finally gets his chance to shine, but no one ever doubts his acting skills in the first place.  The script is a doozy.  It seems like it was an afterthought as soon as all the action sequences were planned.  Co-written by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen (who both also wrote the scripts for Transporter 3 and Bandidas…yikes), it’s insultingly ethnocentric and shamelessly self-gratifying.

1.5 out of 4 stars

While there’s not much of a plot, this is what I did manage to gather between the sloppy, lackluster fight scenes and car chases:  There are a bunch of greedy Americans, they’re trying to manipulate the evil Russians, oops, Ukranians.  There’s the suave British guy that looks good without his shirt on, who’s assisted in his attempts to stop all this crime by a clever French guy.  And of course there’s a dark, troubled Ukranian girl to tag along (this seems to be the movie accessory of the year).

The script is laughable.  Seriously, it’d be difficult not to giggle as poorly written lines are delivered even worse.  Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen should be ashamed of writing something so vapid.  Jason Statham is fine in a role that requires no more depth than an extra.  Natalya Rudakova is ridiculously horrible, and should have her SAG card torn up for this performance.  And the most blame lies with Megaton who seems to have put as much effort into this film as I put into brushing my teeth in the morning.  The action sequences aren’t even exciting.  Some of the fight scenes were well choreographed, but are short, and unbelievable.  It’s just not something you should waste money on.  Even those with the lowest expectations will be disappointed.  Avoid this.

0.5 out of 4 stars

Rottentomatoes: 36% – Cream of the Crop: 35%